Anna’s story: MindSonar helps Anna develop a Healthier Lifestyle

Mindsonar Helps Anna Develop a Healthier Lifestyle

Anna was born in UK in 1962. She is married with two adult sons, who are both married. During the latter part of 2019 one daughter- in-law was diagnosed with cancer and the other delivered Anna’s first grandchild. 

Anna’s passions are all centred around meeting the needs of her family and friends. She accepts the role of matriarch and carries all the responsibilities that go with this role.

Anna at 58 was beginning to ‘feel her age’ more, including being less mobile and experiencing more aches and pains. She was initially motivated to live a healthier lifestyle by the realisation that ill health can affect people of any age. She enrolled in a group eating plan and successfully lost 12kg. 

Anna explained that she was always the chunky one in her circle of friends, and that her Italian heritage meant food was not to be wasted. She has tried many different eating plans and programs to be leaner and fitter, all of which work for a while. Then she often finds herself back where she started. She feels she lacks willpower and discipline to maintain any eating or fitness changes.

Anna’s Mindsonar:Anna used a Mindsonar profile to explore her motivation and her thinking style around “eating and exercising for a healthier lifestyle”. 

Anna spent much of her time talking about her family, family life and her role within the family. She feels that her role as matriarch of the family means she must be there for everyone, all the time, leaving little time to herself. She both enjoys this role and resents it at times.

She mentioned her parents had known food scarcity and that food was never to be wasted or taken for granted. The Italian tradition of feeding the family together is something she aligns herself with and is proud of. She enjoys feeding people food that makes them feel happy.

Anna also mentioned that she likes to know she is doing well when she engages in eating plans. She has joined face-to-face weight loss groups, where she enjoyed being a ‘good member’ and seeing the scales /record card results gave her a sense of achievement. Being with the other members and giving and getting support from them was all part of the group enjoyment for her.

She wants to lead by example and prove that she is committed to living a long and healthy life, to seeing her grandchild and future grandchildren grow up, and more importantly, playing an active part in their lives. This links in with her senior family member role and that of an influencer in the family.

Her Graves drives fully support the above with a strong Purple Drive, Security  (safety, belonging, tradition, feeling at home, togetherness, seniority) and her Orange Drive, Winning (competition, success, achievement, results, progress, influence).

Her wish to be looking and feeling right, good, doing things correctly, along with her seeking external validation from others as to how well she is doing in her weight management. She sees her eating and exercise as a small part of the bigger picture or her role in the family. She has responded to her daughter-in-law’s ill health with a renewed desire for change, albeit in gradual steps to keep the family harmony undisturbed during this stressful time.

Matching  – Anna is reflective and applied with the Matching metaprogram; this is supported by her thinking about the many things she could do if her eating and exercise routines were aligned to her living a healthier lifestyle. She wishes to play a long and active part in her grandchild’s life for example. She can imagine the days out and the things they will do together and does talk happily about them. She talks about how well she supports her family, her friends and how they are her purpose. Being a good wife and mother, and now grandma really matters to her. 

External Ref  – Anna is conscious about how she looks and mentioned that her place in her circle of friends is at the back ‘I’m the chunky friend that walks in behind the others’ and other such comments. She mentioned that exercise classes made her feel uncomfortable, her feelings of tight clothing, and of being sweaty were all issues for her. What other people see, how they might react, what they may say, all matter to her. She is conscious that what she eats or how much she eats might also be judged or watched by others. 

General  – Anna used lots of ‘should and must’ statements whilst talking about eating and exercise. She focusses these on what she has seen or read – aimed at people like her. She will think about lots of these ideas and some she will action; most she will be reluctant to commit to as they will impact on other areas of her life. She will be happy if the things she might chose to do, fit in seamlessly around her existing life. In fact she stated ‘I’d like to eat at a buffet and know when to stop without thinking about it’ and she wanted to learn how to ‘refuse food, but not the sentiment it was offered in – equating with love and comfort.’  In relation to exercise, she wants to ‘do exercise without it being a hurdle:’ just the use of the word hurdle shows she may see exercise as a barrier to be overcome, as opposed to ways to overcome it. When talking about more specific ways Anna might approach her eating and exercise, she had things she wouldn’t or couldn’t do – things that affected the family, her husband etc.

Development – Anna has demonstrated throughout her profile and her conversations with me that whilst she is ready for change, it has to be on her terms and within a timeframe, she can accommodate – causing least disruption to her existing life.  Small changes she accepted could start straightaway, and she wanted to track these and see her results before escalating them. Anna is determined to not stay as she is, this news about her daughter-in-law is pushing her towards change. She feels uncomfortable, and yet is tentative in her steps towards change. 

Anna’s post profile session key pointsAnna had not considered that by focussing on the good things so strongly, might mean she has been avoiding the things that might happen if she does not make changes. Quite emotional at the thought that even though she knew members of her family had a tendency towards certain medical conditions, she was ignoring them. 

Anna also worries that her less healthy lifestyle might be affecting her adult children’s view of her; wondering why she has not kept up the things she has tried already. This bothers her, she does not like feeling that she is failing. [against her Graves Orange and Purple Drives]

She made the decision to spend some time reflecting on this, and even finding out more about what the family history was in relation to health conditions. [Mismatching]

Anna and I explored the idea that she might consider how she might have some of her own ways to validate how she looks and feels; we discussed simple ways that she might try things within her control. Anna made several comments that led me to believe she was uncomfortable with some aspects of using her own standards.  [Internal Ref]

She did concede after resisting for a while that as the main cook in the home, her husband ate what was served and thanked her for it… so planning healthier meals to share with him might not be the issue she felt it might be. She also agreed that she was a great organiser and made sure that things were done in a timely manner around the house and within the family – so a suggestion that she could schedule time to exercise at home using a home based online video was an option, whilst not her preferred style, with support Anna did start to be more responsive to trying things out [Specific]

When asked what her strongest reason for changing her eating and exercise routines – she firmly stated that being around to see her grandchild grow up was at the top of her list. When asked if she could imagine using this as her motivation to change – she surprised herself at the reaction she had – quite emotional and she said it was like the lightbulb went on in her head. [VK along with motivation]

She sounded much more animated and her words were much more positive in relation to making some changes going forwards. She mentioned her husband is behind her all the way, being supportive. She also mentioned family and friends that she knows would support her. [Together -Towards]

Anna wanted to understand how her thinking styles were helping or hindering her wishes to live a healthier lifestyle. She felt that the profile report and subsequent coaching sessions gave her a different perspective on her goal. 

Once she had explored her reason why, living a healthier lifestyle was important and how it could fit into her existing lifestyle with some specific changes; she could reframe and accept that a healthier way of eating was not only possible, it could be done without any disruption to her family harmony. She also identified that as a rule, she planned day-to-day commitments; finding time to commit to an exercise routine that did not make her feel uncomfortable or vulnerable to criticism was also possible.

After supporting Anna to take her MindSonar profile, receive the results and take part in two coached sessions I believe she has started to think differently around her wish to live a healthier lifestyle. Whilst she has become familiar with her motivation and the ways she thinks about the issues around eating and exercise; she has not yet had the coaching programme that will help her achieve her goal, by understanding more about what she thinks about and what she avoids thinking about – she is in a positive mindset, ready to create changes congruent with her motivation.

Anna’s Feedback

  • What an amazing read! 
  • There was so much to take in, there is so much information in the report.
  •  I understand that I struggle to do it [eating and exercising for a healthier life] on my own. 
  • This is true as if my husband is on board it is much easier for me. 
  • I think I need to focus on myself more and not rely on others so much.
  • I also think that the reference to ‘summertime’ might refer to a positive mood as I am affected by the weather, as I suppose most people are.
  • I also picked up that I tend to focus on the good and positive but the bad effects of being overweight and inactive, realising that this can lead to illnesses.
  • I need to finish things and see it through – probably not focus on a weight loss goal but continue a healthy lifestyle forever!

MindSonar Professional DevelopmentRecognising that any personal change such as Anna’s exploration of her eating and exercise mindset will bring up strengths and highlight opportunities for growth.

Her VAK was level across the board, meaning she was open to many metaphors and visual imagery as well as willing to listen and ask questions. VAK might be the last section of the profile – should it be one of the first to be considered when working with a client?

Her Graves drives on numerous occasions reflected in her language and gestures. Seeing her motivation supported in all her initial and post report conversations, was a great illustration of how effective the profiling is in relation to motivation.

Exploring absences or low scores in Graves and metaprograms is something I am aware that is my thinking style coming through, whilst working with the client I am guided by her words and her thinking style – yet matching and mismatching can be a rich learning space in this kind or personal journey.

This client is one of a series of 6 profiles all focussing on the same context – eating and exercise for a healthier life.

Please feel free to message me of you have an interest in using MindSonar in this context.

Make Stress Management Personal with MindSonar

Make Stress Management Personal with Mindsonar

Whatever area of coaching you work in, at some point you will probably do some work to enable your clients to discover ways both to manage their current stress level and to become more resilient to stress in the future. MindSonar can help us do this in a truly client-centred way, by identifying the meta programmes operating when a client experiences stress, and so enabling change work to be focused on those which might be fuelling their stress response.

As always when considering a person’s thinking patterns, there are no intrinsically good or bad meta programmes – it depends upon the context and the way in which the meta programme is impacting upon on the way the individual feels and behaves. Therefore, it is possible that meta programmes which help the person in one context, could be causing a problem in another. Likewise, each meta programme of a pair could be unhelpful in different people..

To illustrate this, here are two simple examples from a couple of my clients of how either of a meta programme pair can contribute to stress – in this case, the perceived locus of control.  I’ve also included a brief account of the benefits that each client experienced from becoming aware of how they could change their stress level by changing their thinking

1. Very high Internal Locus of Control: this client spent a lot of time worrying about things which were completely out of his control. He was losing sleep over such things as world events and the future economy. He said that he often felt responsible for anything that went wrong around him at work and at home, even when he knew that he could not have influenced the outcome in any way. During coaching, he was able to identify some situations in which he was content not to be responsible (ie when he had more of a balance between Internal Locus of Control and External Locus of Control). He recognised that he was thinking differently in those contexts, and that he was more comfortable and less stressed in them. After that, he said could imagine how he would feel if he utilised that more comfortable thinking pattern when in the situations which were currently causing him stress. Therefore, he decided to utilise the more helpful style of thinking in relation to the things in his life that he tended to worry about.

2. Very high External Locus of Control:  in this case, the client felt completely out of control in the context of developing a business. The level of stress she was experiencing from this was stopping her from progressing toward this goal. She felt that so many external factors were in the way of becoming a successful business owner that she could no longer see any opportunities. By considering her score for this meta programme, she considered other situations in which she did feel confident and focussed on what she could influence. She then began to be able to identify the changes in her thinking that would enable her to move in the direction she wanted to, gaining in confidence as she did. The result was a business plan which enabled her to accept those factors which she could not control whilst taking decisions and actions on the factors that she could influence.

 

I believe that any meta programme can contribute to stress. I am still discovering how powerful a MindSonar profile can be for getting clients to understand both the impact that their thinking pattern can have upon their personal experience of stress and anxiety, and their ability to change that.

Let me know of other meta programmes that you’ve seen contributing to stress, whether your own or a client’s. Perhaps we can demonstrate how each meta programme can cause stress in certain contexts..

 

The Manager who didn’t want to Live in the Now

By Jantina Wijtsma

I was coaching Bert, a manager who worked for a non-profit organization. Bert had a whole list of questions for me:

  • “How can I manage my team to be ready for the future?”
  • “How can I renew the values in the team asap?”
  • “How can I move us forward fast?”
  • “How can I quickly achieve the best results for the company with the people I manage?”
  • “How can I earn money for us in the future?”Continue reading

Jobcraft Your Job with MindSonar

At the moment there is a lot of attention for job crafting. In the survey ‘Purpose and meaning in the workplace’ (by Dik, Byrne, Steger 2013) jobcrafting is defined as ‘the process of employees redefining and re-imagining their jobs designs in meaningful ways.’

That sounds interesting, doesn’t it? Nowadays a lot employees decide to keepworking for their current company. Finding a new job is often hard and might feel as taking risks in terms of the loss of financial security. So, perhaps you’d better decide to stay for a while and make your own adaptations to the job you already have.

What do you need for that, Meta Program-wise?

First, you need the belief that you can have influence on the way your job is being done. So, if you don’t have this belief yet or you lost it somewhere, find a career coach who can help you to put on internal reference and self control. You have more impact on your work environment and your employer than you think, really!

Then, analyze what element of job crafting you are going to work on. According to the theories, there are 3 ways to do this:

  • Changing tasks,
  • Changing relationships and
  • Changing perceptions.

So, a lot of options for the people who like to have several possibilities! When you prefer the metaprogram procedures, you can choose either one of the opportunities and make your own strategy.

Changing tasks

Look at the things you actually do in your day. Just put on use and write down everything you do. After that, analyse what the essence is of all those tasks, and how they fit in the structure  of the company. For example: which tasks are for clients, for collegues, for your own talentmanagement?

Put on your options glasses and look for tasks you can add. Perhaps put on the metaprogram external reference and ask collegues to think it over with you.

You can also emphasize tasks. What is your core business? And how can you make this more visible and get more attention for it? How does it feel when your customers are going to ask for you because you are the expert in it? Having the latest information about the product, knowing specific details, and so on?

Changing relationships

When you use people, external reference, and kinestetic senses you might become astonished what you can reach. What is your goal in relationship to your customers, colleagues, managers? And what would you like to avoid? Do you want to be known as friendly and helpful, of more result driven and focused on doing business? Do you like working alone, or in a team, or in proximity, depending on the task?

You might as well consider building new relationships. Go out networking, put on your external reference and activities and give it a go! Use LinkedIn to register your new contacts and to keep in touch with them on line.

Or perhaps it is possible to reframe a certain relationship and look at the roles you have. In a meeting you can ask to be the chairman, so to be able to develop internal reference and towards. As well as procedures and perhaps past, present ànd future, depending on the subjects of the meeting.

Changing perceptions

In NLP this is a huge one. Because you can always change the way you look at your job, how you feel about it, and what you are saying to yourself on your way home. Remember the cleaning man of the space shuttle who said to himself while cleaning the environment at NASA: “I’m helping to get that man on the moon!” Wow, this has lots to do with your past, present and future ideas of how you want to do your job. What is the pattern you work in? Where are you standing nowadays in the team, and where do you want to be in the next year? Put on change as a Meta Program, structure to look for the patterns and decide (selfcontrol) to expand the way you look at your job. What other options are possible? Are there general things you overlook? Are their details to discover you never thought about?

Enough ideas to get you craft your job! As the survey mentioned before says: ‘In a world where meaningfulness may be in short supply, job crafting can be an important process through which employees cultivate meaningfulness and, in so doing, create valuable outcomes for themselves and their organizations.’

Good luck!

MindSonar – a good Tool for Coaching Artists

Previously, I’ve used MindSonar for business people and for individuals seeking coaching or therapy. Recently however, I’ve been thinking about the use of MindSonar for artists of various types. This arose out of my own personal experience. In the last couple of years I’ve developed hobbies in both art and jewellery making. As a result, I now know a number of incredibly creative people. As a person whose background is in science, this is quite a new experience for me and one which I’m enjoying learning from. As a MindSonar professional, I can’t help but notice how the different thinking styles of individual artists impact upon their work. For example, some artists produce works which are realistic representations of the subject, having focussed on the Specific details, whereas others produce representative works which are impressionistic or even abstract having focussed on the General appearance. Similarly, some spend a lot of time on the preparation and design before getting around to making a piece (Reactive). Others dive straight in and create as they go along (Proactive).

Such differences in the thinking styles they employ within the creative process can impact upon their success when they come to develop their work by using different media. I have encountered this myself when recently I decided to move from drawing with soft pastels (which can used to draw pictures quite quickly – ideal for those of us who are proactive) to using coloured pencils instead (which require more planning and the need to take a longer to build up layers of colours). Starting from my “pastel mindset” of Proactive, I initially found the switch frustrating. However, by changing my perspective and moving into a slightly more Reactive thought pattern, I began once more to enjoy the process.

The thinking style around creative work also impacts on the artist when they decide to advertise and sell their work. As a rule of thumb, artworks which arise from a Reactive and Specific approach take more time to create than those resulting from a Proactive, General approach. This then impacts on the artist’s pricing structure for their pieces.

The implications for MindSonar professionals is to consider how we might work with artists who are looking for coaching to help them develop either their art or their business. An artists who feels that they are not progressing as well as they want to could be helped to identify whether they would be helped by changing their balance of Specific to General in the context of their work: strengthening general if they are aiming to be more abstract, or their Specific if they wish to do more detailed, realistic works. If an artist spends so long planning and designing that they create only sporadically, they might benefit from strengthening their Proactive metaprogramme.

There will, of course, be other metaprogrammes at play in a person’s creativity and I’ll be looking out for them the more I spend time within the creative communities to which I now belong. In particular, I’m interested in those artists who have achieved a balance which enables them to be commercially viable whilst still doing the style of art they enjoy. If you coach creative people, or are an artist of any sort yourself, let me know which thinking styles you notice as you work. I think there’s real scope for MindSonar to be helpful in this area.

Time Perception in the Mindset: Sometimes crucial in Therapy

One of the Meta programme sets that I have found can have a significant role in the thinking patterns of my therapy clients is that of Past/Present/Future. It seems that if any one of the three is very strong in the context of how they view their life, it can contribute to the issues which have brought the person to therapy. As with all Meta programmes, the rest of the profile is important and certain combinations of Meta programmes seem related to specific therapy issues. However, the time perception meta programmes are of particular interest to me in some clients. Below are some examples of how each of the time focus meta programmes can contribute to a client’s issues:

Future

I often see a very strong Future focus, usually coupled with the Mismatching programme, in clients suffering from anxiety. These clients constantly worry about what might go wrong in the future and rarely take any time to appreciate what is actually happening in the present. They often do not learn from their past experiences. Part of the therapy work therefore is to enable the client to look back and identify both good and neutral things that have happened in their past. This enables them to recognise that the things they were anxious about in the past rarely, if ever, materialised and that, if they did, they were not as catastrophic as they had imagined and they had coped and survived them.

Past

I frequently see a strong Past focus in clients experiencing depression. Most often I see this along with a Mismatching meta programme. Such clients look back and remember almost everything that has gone wrong for them and every mistake they believe that they have made. This, of course, reinforces their depression and the accompanying low self-esteem. By moving first to a stronger Matching pattern, they can begin to recognise times of good fortune and personal success in their past and so see that not everything has been a bad experience. Doing this in combination with strengthening both Present and Future Meta programmes can have a really positive effect on their depression as they start to feel less negative about their past life experiences whilst becoming more positive about current and future events. .

Conversely, some depressed clients have strong Past Meta programme combined with a strong with Matching metaprogramme. These clients view the past through rose-tinted spectacles and believe that all the good times are over. They tend to believe that everything was better in the past, both for them as individuals and in the World in general. They remember all the good times they’ve had and forget any hardships and conclude that those times exist only in the years behind them. Again, coaching to enable them to achieve a more balanced profile across Past/Present/Future can bring about improvements for them,.

Present

Less often, I see a problem resulting from a very strong Present metaprogramme. Such clients tend to struggle with planning and can end up in difficulty when unprepared for events or unable to meet commitments, including financial ones. These clients also often do not learn from past experience and fail to predict what they will need to achieve the things they want or need to. These clients can often identify areas or times of their lives when they have been able to plan, and learn from past experiences. Using this enables coaching to strengthen Past and Future thinking appropriately.

Of course, as with all our work with clients, we need to consider the MindSonar profile in its entirety and work with the client’s priorities. However, as our time perception has a powerful effect upon how we perceive our life in general, I think that this particular Meta programme set worth looking at very closely. Maybe that’s true for all of us – not just our therapy clients.

Have you any experience of the time perception Meta programmes helping or hindering you or your clients? Please share your experiences in the comments box below.